Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Guys, I'm sad. I've been feeling sad for a while now. To the ones that know me or follow me closely, I always try to share good vibes and put out positive energy here in social media, but the truth is, I've been feeling down for a long time now.
Although, I try to be and seem happy, I haven't been these days. These passed couple of weeks have been the toughest I have ever experienced in my life. My best friend is going through some life changing events right now as I type this, and it has completely destroyed me. Seeing someone I love and care for (more than a friend, but a sister) go through something so vulnerable and traumatic at the same time, truly breaks my heart. At one point, I was really mad at God, I would ask him, why is this happening to her? There are so many bad people in this world, why the fuck did this have to happen to her? During this time of thinking, I really thought I had lost my faith. I felt betrayed because things are always suppose to work out in my favor. So when I got the unexpected news, I was in total shock. I felt lost. I wasn't even sure who to talk to about it. While I am a Leo, I sometimes tend to keep everything bottled up because I believe that "ill get over it", but not this. Well at least, not anything soon. While I won't disclose exactly what it is because it's not my place, I really need some prayers from you, if you're reading this, please pray for her and for her well being. I hate asking people for help, or for anything at that matter, but I really need any type of support at the moment. It's ironic because while I'm not a religious person and I haven't been to church in I don't know how long, I ultimately still have a lot of faith and I just know that things will turn out ok. It's just really difficult to not be able to do anything except pray and read comforting words that I try to find online. Life can really surprise you at times, and really really test you. Also, I think one of the reasons that its been really tough for me (and her) is that she's away from her son. She is being robbed of seeing him grow up for the time being. I am also pretty sure he's confused, but he's so small, so he doesn't know what's going on...I'm sure he's just wondering, "Where's my mom"? Which makes me want to cry just thinking about it.  Up until this point, I wasn't even sure if to share this much online; people online can be so cruel and judgmental and just straight up mean. But I just needed to write something brief, something to not keep it all bottled up. Something to help ease the pain. Unfortunately, it has also made me realize the things that truly matter the most. Not worrying about some stupid app or what the next person is doing. Or if my sales are down or any of the countless things we all worry about on a daily basis. 

Thanks for reading, I always appreciate it. 
And also remember to live life with intention, and not take anything for granted.

p.s. I didn't want this entire post to be negative and sad so I wanted to include these photos. I really like this outfit and I had a really nice day with my mom in these photos. :)

Happy Wednesday.

Tee: By Egreis
Shorts: Who What Wear / similar style: here and here
Sandals: Target (love these!)
Sunglasses: here (I'm always wearing these!)

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